The energy backstage at Orange Crush’s SuperPower Slam was high, but it hit a different level when I ran into Malcolm Muscle. If you’ve spent any time on wrestling social media, you know Malcolm. He’s the man who isn’t afraid to ask the big questions—specifically, what The Rock or Jey Uso is ordering at 3:00 AM at a 24-hour diner.
While we were at the Melrose Ballroom to raise money for the Little Oaks Center for Neurodevelopment, I had to get the pulse on the man who has turned hash brown orders into a viral sensation.
The Gospel of the Waffle House Sauce
We started things off with a bit of a grooming secret. According to Malcolm, the secret to his glow isn’t high-end skincare—it’s the sauce.
“A sexy ass Waffle House sauce. It’s the best. You could literally rub it on your skin like lotion. I do every day. That’s why I smell great, right? Smell me. What do I smell like? Waffle House sauce, right, is good for the body, good for the soul.”
When I asked why people get so heated in his comments section over simple food orders, Malcolm didn’t mince words. He thinks the hate comes from a place of hunger and geographical jealousy.
“Cuz they’re sad. They’re hungry. And they they’re upset because they’re not close enough to a Waffle House. They’re like, ‘Man, Jey Uso order is really good. I’m going to need to go to Waffle House, too, but there’s none in my area.’ So, I got to leave a bad comment now. Got to make this guy’s day feel bad because my life is real sad.”
Even the legends are paying attention. Malcolm noted that The Rock himself liked the post where he was asked for his order, and even Mark Henry has been tagging him in Waffle House content. For a guy living near Philly who has to drive an hour to Allentown just to get his fix, that’s commitment to the craft.
The “Big Back” Waffle Blueprint
I had to know: when the “Waffle House Connoisseur” actually sits down in the booth, what is he eating? It turns out there is a very specific science to the perfect waffle.
“Just the plain waffle. Okay. So, when I get the plain waffle, you got to put peanut butter on it. All right? And then you can still kind of see the holes in the waffle, right? And it’s like a game. You get chocolate chips in your hand, you drizzle it out, and if it falls in the hole, bingo. So, I like to get it’s like a peanut butter Reese’s type of waffle, you know, and then if you feeling like a big big back, you put some syrup on it. Clock it, as the kids say. It’s amazing.”
WrestleMania Memories and the Rise of the Omosapiens
Moving away from the menu, we talked about the “Show of Shows.” While most people point to technical classics, Malcolm went straight for the powerhouse era of the recent past.
“Okay, so you know AJ Styles just retired from the WWE recently. Uh, his best WrestleMania match of all time… not [the one] he got to know him and taking on The New Day at WrestleMania 37 for the tag team titles. AJ and win them. My Nigerian giant, my Nigerian god. Omos got the Tag Team Championships. Let’s go!”
He proudly declared himself a fellow Omosapien, noting that we need more “giants” on television—a sentiment I can get behind as a fellow tall guy.
The Tribal Chief Debate: Solo Sikoa Reigns Supreme
Finally, I had to put him on the spot regarding the ongoing Bloodline drama. I asked him to choose a Tribal Chief: Solo Sikoa or Roman Reigns. He didn’t hesitate, and he even brought me over to his side.
“Malcolm: My tribal chief is… Solo Sikoa of the two options, Solo Sikoa because he’s way funnier. He’s got a way better sense of—when he dapped up that skeleton on Halloween, I was like, that’s my guy. It’s my tribal chief.
Rob: It’s the best reason why Solo Sikoa is not just your tribal chief. It’s my tribal chief. Our tribal chief, the tribal chief, Solo Sikoa.”
Malcolm admitted to a “weird obsession” with Solo, specifically citing the intensity of the Samoan Spike.
“I really like it when he… there’s this match of him and John Cena and he takes his thumb and shoves it in Cena‘s throat deep into his throat and he went deeper and then did it over again and over. He just kept taking that thumb said and then put it in his throat. I liked it a lot.”
