Music has been an intrinsic part of professional wrestling. In Break The Song Down, we revisit the music that has echoed throughout the squared circle, from the five-star classics to underrated gems.

By the time Wayne Farris joined the WWF, Elvis Presley had been dead for almost a decade.

Were he still alive, there’s no question that Vince McMahon would have tried to get Elvis to appear at one of the early WrestleManias. Elvis was a gimmick, a wrestler in every sense of the word: a larger-than-life personality, unparalleled charisma and (often) unchecked bravado.

Instead, we got The Honky Tonk Man, a journeyman wrestler with a name lifted from a Johnny Horton song, who debuted on the Oct. 5, 1986, episode of WWF Superstars.

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I think Elvis being dead for nine years helped Farris’s run in the WWF. By that time, Elvis had reached a universal quality. Kids who didn’t know his music could do a poor Elvis impression. Like Mojo Nixon said in 1987, “Elvis is Everywhere.”

But again: it was the 80s. Farris’s gimmick—with its greasy hair, long sideburns, and swiveling hips—was just the right level of outdated. It was tragically un-hip. It’s the ‘80s! Hair metal and rap! Rock and Wrestling! Why is this dude still listening to Elvis? How corny. Boo this man!

Except that the Honky Tonk Man was initially meant to be a good guy. During his first match, commentators Vince McMahon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura hyped up his friendship with Hulk Hogan. It’s the Honky Tonk Man! He’s Hulk’s buddy! Everyone loves Hogan! Cheer this man!

Fans were never going to cheer. Farris had worked strictly as a heel before joining the WWF, and you can tell in that first match. There’s something off.

Plus, Farris looked more like the ’68 Comeback Special version, rather than the svelte, “Hound Dog” heartthrob first crowned The King of Rock and Roll. A pudgy heel is easier to boo unconditionally; inversely, a pudgy babyface, once over, will never not be over.

So once he had Jimmy Hart as his “Colonel” and Sherri Martel (under a bad blonde wig) as his Peggy Sue. Honky Tonk Man was almost ready for a solid run through the WWF midcard. He just needed one more thing.

The Song: “Honky Tonk Man (Cool, Cocky, Bad)”

“Honky Tonk Man (Cool, Cocky, Bad)” opens with a scorching rockabilly guitar lick followed by someone doing their best Jerry Lee Lewis on the piano. A steady upright bassline and nondescript drums keep the beat. It all sets the stage for Honky Tonk Man to sing those first verses.

“I got long sideburns and my hair slicked back,
I’m coming to your town in my pink Cadillac”

From there, it’s the grating call-and-response repetition to drive the point home. “I’m just a Honky Tonk Man,” sings Farris, with the high-pitched backup singers adding how he’s “a Honky Tonk Man.” Rinse and repeat before Farris declares he’s “cool,” “cocky,” and “bad.”

Usually, babyfaces don’t sing their own song. Heels do; specifically, heels who can’t sing but think they can. This song could not work if someone else were on the mic.

Take, for example, the first Honky Tonk Man theme, a twangy southern-fried ditty with some Webb Pierce-esque guy singing “how he’s gonna chase those troubles out with a little Honky Tonkin’.”

Honky had that first theme up until he defeated Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat for the Intercontinental Title in June 1987, a championship he’d historically hold for 454 days.

I presume the switch over to the second theme came around September ’87 to promote the release of Piledriver: The Wrestling Album II.

It’s noted that the second theme includes a line about “the Snakeskin blues,” referring to Honky Tonk Man’s WrestleMania 3 feud with Jake “The Snake” Roberts.

Honky famously El Kabong’d Jake with a guitar during a February 1987 episode of “The Snake Pit.” The first guitar shot legitimately injured Roberts, who would blame that injury for starting him down a dark path of pain pill abuse and drug addiction.

Yeah. Nothing like having the start of your downfall immortalized in song.

On the bridge, Honky Tonk Man decided to cross that final line: he badmouths Elvis.

 “Roll over, Elvis, let the Honky Tonk Man show you how to rock and roll
Elvis who? He couldn’t carry a tune if it had handles on it
Elvis let me show you how to pick that guitar.”

See, Honky Tonk Man doesn’t think he’s Elvis or a long-lost Presley cousin (his real-life relationship with a wrestling “King” would cause some friction down the line). He doesn’t even like Elvis: Honky thinks he’s better than him.

This is brilliant. A brash pretender thinking he’s cooler than the real thing? No wonder everyone hated him.

Is This a Jim Jonston Jam?

No. Jim Johnson joined the WWF in 1986, the same year as the Honky Tonk Man. But checking the credits on Piledriver, we see that J.J. Maguire and Jimmy Hart wrote Honky’s theme. Which raises the question:

Will Jimmy Hart Pay For His Crimes?

[Elvis voice] Uh-huh.

During his career, Jimmy Hart composed and performed a variety of themes for the WWF and WCW. And “composed” is doing a lot of work in that sentence: most of Jimmy’s output sounds eerily similar to preexisting work.

In this case, fans of Hank Williams would have been pissed that Honky Tonk Man had lifted the theme from “Honky Tonk Blues.”

It’s not the worst rip-off, but Jimmy Hart needs to do a few hundred hours of community service. Maybe picking up trash around Graceland.

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Final Verdict

Looking back, writing a theme song for a heelish Elvis fan would be a no-brainer, right?. But as his first theme shows, you don’t always get something like “Honky Tonk Man (Cool, Cocky, Bad)” on the first try.

Sure, it’s not something that I would throw on the playlist, but it’s also not something I would immediately skip if it came up on SHUFFLE.

It suits the character, enhances his gimmick, and is annoying (without being too annoying). It’s cool. It’s cocky. It’s bad.

RATING: 4/5 BAH GAWDs

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